‘Life will always give you consequences related to your actions.’ Jack Canfield

Are you someone who can shoulder life’s burdens no matter what comes your way or are their certain stresses and strains that leave you completely bereft of energy and a feeling of total overwhelm?

Do you….

• Set yourself impossible deadlines?
• Take on several jobs at once?
• Walk and talk very quickly
• Find you’ve eaten your meal before everyone else?
• Have a burning sense of ambition?
• Feel you are unable to sit still and fidget constantly?
• Worry endlessly about things that haven’t even happened yet?

We can all suffer from stress at certain times in our lives – in fact, some people seem to endlessly thrive on it! As one dynamic lady said to me, “my work/life balance is my work! I wouldn’t want it any other way!”

Nevertheless, we can all face our own internal battles from time to time and this is why stress is often viewed in a negative fashion. However, stress is often good for us – it helps us react under pressure, it enables us to perform at our optimum and we feel challenged, it is essential for our survival and assists us in times of crisis. However, it is only when the level of stress becomes destructive instead of constructive, that it can lead to personal physical and emotional damage.

The impact of uncertainty and financial strain among today’s workforce can cause job burnout and stress in epidemic proportions. Workers at all levels feel stressed out, insecure, and misunderstood. Many people feel the demands of the workplace, combined with the demands of home, have become too much to handle.

One lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked ‘How heavy is this glass of water?’ Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance!

In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

It’s the same with stress. Sometimes we keep going like an energiser bunny until the batteries grow dim and it takes us twice as long to bounce back to our normal high levels of energy. Stress in insidious – we don’t watch for it, pay attention to it and sometimes are puzzled about how it can take complete control of our lives.

Stress is an adaptive response to a situation that is perceived as challenging or threatening to our well-being.

Stress is our individual reaction to a situation, not the situation itself.

Some aspects in life such as an excessive workload are completely manageable for some people. For others the juggling required in minding children and a heavy workload can produce enormous stresses if not managed effectively, especially with limited social support.

While we usually think of the negative aspects of stress, there is also a positive side of stress, called eustress. This is the healthy, positive, constructive outcome of stressful events. We all need some level of stress or adrenalin to keep us motivated, challenged and performing at our optimum level. Working under a manageable amount of pressure can enable us to achieve great things and come up with excellent new ideas.

Distress, on the other hand reflects the negative side of stress. Distress represents the level of physiological, psychological, and behavioural deviation from normal healthly functioning.

Picture the relationship between stress and performance as an inverted ‘U’. Stress up to a certain point is good in that it challenges us to work at our best. However, once this point is reached, stress can become negative and more dysfunctional. Stress can have serious physiological, psychological and behavioural outcomes.

Physiological outcomes of distress include cardiovascular disease, hypertension, headaches, blood pressure, headaches or gastrointestinal problems.

Psychological outcomes of distress may include dissatisfaction, moodiness, depression, emotional fatigue, anxiety, apathy, or burnout.

Behavioural consequences include diminished work performance, accidents, absenteeism, aggression, poor decisions, sleep disorders, smoking, and over-reliance on alcohol or drugs.

Coping Positively with Stress

How can we create a more positive approach to how we think about, react and deal with stress in our busy lives?

The most important thing to remember about stress, is that once we are aware of how we are feeling and what makes us feel stressed and can begin to recognise the symptoms, we can begin to manage it.

We can use a combination of three approaches to cope with stressors and stress.

A Take-charge strategy consists of using our behaviours and thoughts to anticipate or solve problems. We have a choice to take back control.

With a ‘take-charge attitude’, we can begin to take control over our work and work environment. If all else fails, we have also the choice of leaving a particular job in order to gain more flexibility and freedom.

Another strategy is an ‘escape strategy’. This simply avoids the problem and nothing gets resolved!  Our behaviours and thoughts either rationalise away the problem or ignore it. Individuals use this strategy when they passively accept stressful situations or avoid them by failing to confront the cause of stress. However, this does little to get to the root of the problem and it gets pushed under the carpet for another day!

On the other hand, a positive management strategy uses relaxation, meditation, medication or exercise to manage the symptoms of stress. This allows the individual to give themselves permission to press the pause button and take time out to relax and unwind. By focusing on a positive strategy you can choose practical options that will help you alleviate your stress levels.

10 Simple Strategies to Tackle Stress

1. Pause and Step Back

Examine why you are responding in a stressful way. As Victor Frankl once said, between any stimulus and response there is a pause. Take that pause now and choose how you want to respond to what is happening around you.

2. Remove the Stressor

Attempt to minimize or completely remove the stressors that are causing you so much grief. If you need more social support, identify ways in which you could alleviate some of the pressure you’re experiencing. Outsource routine aspects that are overburdening you; ask for help with that big project; decide what you need to STOP doing.

3. Change your perception of the stressor

Look at the positive things you have done already and remind yourself of these. Don’t let what’s happening to you currently, cloud the wonderful achievements you have had. Keep a sense of humour! Remember it takes 88 muscles to frown and 4 to smile! Don’t take yourself too seriously. Failure is only feedback and an opportunity to learn and get it right next time! As Padraig Harrington, our renowned Irish golfer once said, “If you’re going to be successful you’re going to make loads of mistakes!”

4. Examine what really matters to you – sometimes less is more.

Ask yourself – What can I let go off? What is really important to me? What if I decide to worry about an issue when it arises and deal with it at that time rather than ponder over it now? As a very good colleague once said, “worry is interest paid before it’s due!”

5. Get Active!

“Motion is emotion” as Tony Robbins would say. By changing our physiology we immediately can change our emotions. Stand up, move position, lift your head up, shoulders back and smile! It’s very hard to feel overwhelmed when you smile! Go for a walk around the block or in a nearby park and walk that tension into the ground! Put on some relaxing music as you drive home from work, instead of listening to endless stories about the terrible economy!

Exercise stimulates blood flow to the brain, as well as the nervous system and produces chemicals such as serotonin and endorphins, which can have a positive impact on how we feel.

6. Only focus on what you can control – not what is outside your control

Write down the top 10 things you are worrying about on post-it notes. Divide these into issues that are within your sphere of influence and those which are completely outside your control. Surprised! Sometimes we spend more time worrying about things we can do nothing about! By focusing on what you can control, we can begin to take positive steps to take action!

7. Manage your time – don’t let time manage you!

Do you run from one crisis to the next and are caught up in a trap of being busy without being productive? Notice how you are spending your time. The most successful and productive people focus about 60% of their time on the big ticket items that will really add value for the longer term.  They include planning, prevention, adding value and building relationships rather than getting caught up in the day-to-day crises and troubleshooting.

Practice the 4 D’s. If there’s something you can do in 10 minutes just do it. Otherwise delegate it, dump it (sometimes the bin can be the best filing cabinet!) or defer it for a planned later date.

Remember – Saying no is saying yes to yourself!

8. Never seek total perfection as you’ll never get there!

Trying to do everything perfectly creates a lot of stress and can become obsessive. Trust that you have done the best you can and let go.

9. A problem shared is a problem halved.

The research emphasises that in some of the ‘best places to work’ each person has a trusted colleague to talk to. Who is your trusted colleague or friend who you can confide in about how you are feeling and help reduce the burden?

10. Give yourself permission to relax!

So often, we rush from one activity to the next without taking time to breathe! There are a number of excellent relaxation techniques like yoga, mindfulness and meditation and massage which are a great way to relieve stress. Schedule in personal time in your diary to rest and relax as much as your business time.

Have a great day! Would be delighted to hear some positive ways you deal with stress in your everyday life!

The economists tell us the recession is starting to show ‘green shoots’ in the export sector which will provide the platform for a return to economic stability in this country. However, despite this growth element, the staggering budget deficit that faces this country for many years has left people with prolonged negative equity and rising dole queues for an uncertain period. Their story would be entirely different. Despite all the ‘doom and gloom,’ however, it is refreshing to see that many future-focused, leading organisations are continuing to build their leadership pipeline despite cost constraints.

They realise that as the market continues to pick up, which it will eventually like previous cycles, they still need to focus their attention on recruiting, retaining and motivating their ‘key players,’ who will drive growth and prosperity for the business in the future. In a recent CIPD Learning & Development Survey, it was found that over 80% of respondents across all business sectors were continuing to engage in leadership development.

Deirdre Murray outlines 4 winning ways to ensure you keep your ‘brightest and best!’

1. Identify your top players

Take the time to strategically identify your ‘key players’ and high potentials from a ‘pool of talent’ rather than from a ‘position planning’ perspective. How often do organisations find themselves dealing with a crisis because someone has left hurriedly as a result of a major difficulty, or finds that someone’s heart condition has taken away any control they ever had and they find themselves without a key strategic player that they had taken for granted would always be there?

Involve all senior line management in identifying key talent for the future and agree a coherent strategic plan on how to develop them.

2. Let them ‘work out in the open!’

Let them know who they are and what policies and plans you have for their career. Motivational studies show that your high achievers require more feedback rather than less and may not be getting the reinforcement they need to make them feel valued and appreciated. Regular ongoing communication is essential to recognise and reinforce good work and make the other person feel valued.

3. Communicate the vision for the future

Even in a recession, it is critical that leaders communicate more rather than less. People become nervous and unsettled when they see their long-standing colleagues walk out the door. Reassure them of the company’s long-term future and that despite the ‘pain’ in the present scenario, the company has a bright future and a strategic plan for success.

4. Support their journey
Clarify what individuals really want from their career and what really motivates them ‘to get up out of bed in the morning.’ Work with them to develop key challenges that will accelerate their learning curve and give them the valuable experience that will help them grow as an individual and give them rounded experience. Clarify any major concerns they may have and support them, as necessary, though targeted coaching and mentoring.

Deirdre Murray and Daire Coffey, co-authors of ‘Emotional Intelligence (EQ) – A Leadership Imperative!’ (part of the Management Briefs Series published by Frank-Scott Lennon), outline six key steps to help you lead with optimism and resilience in these tough times:

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

Dr Martin Luther King Jr.

Imagine being buried alive, 2,000 feet below ground, isolated from friends and family, in a sea of perpetual blackness, melting in 90 degree humidity, covered in red slimy mud from weeping cave walls, and to top it off – you’ve a screaming toothache!

Much will be written on and commented upon about the happy outcome of “Los 33” – the brave Chilean miners who united both the Chilean people and the rest of the world in unyielding hope for their survival. It is hard to believe that 1 in 5 people witnessed this ‘real life’ and authentic ‘reality show’ on live TV, as opposed to the contrived and mind-numbing versions we witness on many channels.

They were rescued after 69 days. However, their ‘real’ rescue occurred from the moment their foreman Luis Urzua, or Don Lucho as he is familiarly known, descended as part of his normal shift cycle. As one of the most experienced miners in the group, he said he did to not all the miners very well, yet he was able to inspire hope and motivation amongst this group under the most extreme circumstances. He was as great example of an emotionally-intelligent leader who held the team together in the most arduous circumstances.

He clicked immediately into gear once the dust had settled after the collapse and set up a ‘mini-society, identifying the key strengths of each individual and assigning them specific roles and responsibilities. He broke the unwieldy group of 33 into 3 teams of 11 and implemented immediate survival techniques to ensure than when help did reach them – that they would be alive to tell the tale. At the time of rescue on August 17^th, they were down to one spoonful of tuna every two days!

“Los 33,” have been praised for their exacting discipline, courage, patience and good humour. They had to wait 17 days in this unyielding darkness not knowing if they would ever be rescued. Whilst they had their conflicts, as you would expect, Don Lucho encouraged them every morning to trust in fate, “if they find us, that’s great but if they don’t, that’s that.” He gave each team routine tasks to perform and each person had a dedicated role of medic, presenter, comic, pastor and poet.

In these difficult times, we ask is there a role for emotional intelligence in business, when pressures around us make us keep our head down and we focus more on the tasks ahead rather than the great team of people around us. As former head of HR in RBS states, “People are pivotal in the recovery – we need to get them to do a lot more and to do different things in different ways.”

We can often succumb to negative thoughts of ‘doom and gloom’ but this only exacerbates a negative climate. Like Don Lucho, we have to trust that things will work out and despite the difficulties we will get through this recession – we’ve done it before!

Research by the Emotional Intelligence Consortium among business executives found that optimistic Insurance sales agents with high EQ, sold over twice the amount of policies than their weaker counterparts.

Optimism and resilience are critical for leaders in these challenging times as studies show that it is those who continue to adopt a positive mindset even in the face of setbacks, will rebound quickest in this recession. One leading entrepreneur, President of Alltech Biotechnology, Dr. Pearse Lyons, described himself recently as “a recession heretic!” This is essential in tough times, as it requires a tenacity and steadfastness to grab hold of your vision and dream and stick with it, despite the obstacles.

In a recent survey undertaken by PWC in 2010, it was extremely positive to hear that over half of multinational representatives in Ireland, (58%), participating in a Leaders Snapshot Survey of over 800 leading companies, confirmed confidence in ‘Brand Ireland,’ and that they will maintain investment in this country at current levels. A further 27% indicated they are considering additional investment. Whilst the survey rightly confirms that a critical factor for Ireland’s recovery right now, is in restoring public finances, a quarter (25%) felt it was vital to implement measures to restore consumer confidence and grow our way out of this recession.

All too often, we can talk ourselves into a recession, instead of out of it! Now is the time for leaders to engage in a positive vision of the future and capture the ‘hearts and minds’ of talented employees.

We outline 6 key steps to help you enhance your sense of optimism and resilience in these challenging times:

1. See The Glass as ‘Half Full’ not ‘Half Empty:

Are you a person who sees the glass half full or half empty? How do you experience setbacks – do you see them as problems or challenges? Are you generally motivated to continue, even when the going gets really tough? As Martin Seligman, leading expert on emotional intelligence and author of ‘Learned Optimism,’ tells us, “optimists tend to live longer, have fewer illnesses, have lower blood pressure and are ultimately more successful in their lives.”

Do you see the glass as half full or half empty?  

Leaders with high optimism and resilience have a ‘can do’ attitude and always see the ‘glass half full’ and are able to maintain a positive attitude, even in tough times. They are brutally realistic about the challenges facing them and adopt a ‘can do’ approach in dealing with it.  They tend to be more resilient and look at setbacks as learning opportunities for personal growth.

As the football manager of Crystal Palace FC Iain Dowie described his team, “they have that quality of ‘bouncebackability.’

2. Be Determined to Succeed Even in the Face of Adversity:

Aung San Suu Kyi, a political hero in Burma, has just been released from eight years house arrest, following formal elections by the Burmese Government, from which she was banned from participating in. She has remained an international symbol of heroic and peaceful resistance in the constant face of oppression.  Despite being isolated from her family and friends and under forced ‘house arrest,’ she remains resolute in her fight for democracy for the Burmese people. The inspiration and determination she has shown deservedly earned her the Nobel Peace Prize in 1991. Rather that retain bitterness against her oppressors, she has maintained a policy of non-violence and has advocated dialogue and unity in the struggle for democracy.

3. Don’t Take Things Personally:

Too often, we get defensive when things don’t go our way or become demoralised by setbacks. Studies have shown that pessimists tend to take setbacks personally, while optimists don’t!

Unlike optimists, pessimists view setbacks according to the 3 P’s: ‘Permanent’, ‘Pervasive’ and ‘Personal.’ For Example: When you don’t get the promotion you want……

Pessimists view setbacks as permanent while Optimists view setbacks as temporary

Pessimist:           “I’ll never get a job,” versus

Optimist:             “I was unlucky this time”

Pessimists view setbacks as pervasive (i.e. all-encompassing) while Optimists view setbacks as specific to that one event

Pessimist:           “I didn’t get the job. It will be the same old story if I go for another interview!”

Optimist:             “I didn’t get the job on this occasion because I didn’t prepare well enough.”

Pessimists take setbacks personally, while Optimists don’t!

Pessimist:           “They thought I wasn’t good enough for the job,” or “I’ll never get the job I want!”

Optimist:             “Maybe this job is not for me.  Better luck next time!”

The only difference between the Optimist and the Pessimist is HOW they interpret the circumstances around them. How do you maintain your level of optimism? Remember, emotions are contagious, like ripples in a pond

Emotions are contagious, like ripples in a pond!

It is important to reframe setbacks or problems as ‘challenges’. Every situation can be viewed from different perspectives.  The word ‘problem’ may cause you to feel immobilised, while the word ‘solution’ will make you feel energised and empowered. It is just like two sides of the same coin!

“Accept the things you cannot change, have the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”   

R. Neibuhr

4. Ask Yourself, “What Can I Learn From This Experience?”

Sometimes, we don’t need anyone else to criticise us, as we can make an extremely good  job of it ourselves! We need to monitor our ‘self-talk’ and be conscious when we are lambasting ourselves for doing something wrong.

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback! Failure is an essential ingredient for high achievement.  In the words of golfer Padraig Harrington:

“If you are looking for average, then try not to make mistakes, but if you are looking to be great, you’ve got to make loads of mistakes.”

5. Use Positive Language
Thoughts, whether positive or negative, tend to attract more of the same. So by dwelling on happy, optimistic and hopeful thoughts and expectations, you’ll increase your tendency to develop and nurture a positive attitude.   As Jack Canfield of ‘The Success Principles’ reminds us, “Pay attention to what you focus on, as it may happen!”

According to leading psychologists, we all have approximately 50,000 thoughts per day.  Many of these thoughts relate to what we did or didn’t do in the past, what we going to do with the future but forgetting about the present moment!

We also have what are known as ANTS or Automatic Negative Thoughts, which pop in and out of our heads.  They are only thoughts – they are not real unless we make them so! These ANTS are unproductive and zap valuable energy, which could be deployed more productively in other areas.  The challenge is to become the observer of your thoughts and filter what actually gets in.  As the saying goes, ‘garbage in, garbage out,’ so be very selective about where you focus your thoughts and energy.

What we focus on GROWS; if we focus on something negative happening, it is more likely to become a self-fulfilling prophesy!

Think of your mind as a garden.  Most gardeners make sure that they keep the weeds out so that the plants and flowers can flourish.  And so it is with our thoughts.  The objective is to stamp out those ANTS and replace them with CATS or Confident Affirming thoughts. Tell yourself that you can do it and you go a long way towards proving yourself right.

While Confidence Affirming Thoughts (CATS) are strong positive statements, it is important that your goals are realistic and based on focused development plans, not just aspirations. CATS can help us rid ourselves of negative self-talk and replaces this negative chatter with positive ideas and concepts.

6. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude!

Often we let the most important things in life slip by and take them for granted: our health, our wonderful families, our supportive colleagues, and your committed workforce. Be grateful for what you have already! By developing an ‘attitude of gratitude,’ you will begin to appreciate what you have and immediately put things into a more positive perspective. What are you grateful for today?
 

Conclusion:

One of the critical underlying competencies of Emotional intelligence is the ability to have a realistic sense of optimism to motivate and encourage employees and to remain steadfast and resilient in the face of adversity. EQ is increasingly becoming a critical success factor for today’s leader. With continued positive inspiration shown by leaders in the business community, Ireland Inc. needs to dig deep and reinvent itself to prosper in the longer term.

If you would like to find out more about Emotional Intelligence or undergo an EQ self-assessment please contact Deirdre and Daire at www.managementbriefs.com for further information.

Deirdre Murray, Founder and Director of People Resources, works with leaders and teams in multinationals, SME’s and entrpreneurships to help them achieve their highest potential. As an Adjunct Faculty member of The Michael Smurfit School of Business, she lectures on leadership and strategic change, cross-cultural management and organisational behaviour.

 Daire Coffey is Director of Perspectives Business Consulting which specialises in leadership and business development. She is an Associate Faculty member at the Irish Management Institute (IMI) where she lectures and coaches on leadership, business development and marketing programmes.

Jack Welch, Former CEO General Electric

Are you overwhelmed by the negative prospects ahead, are under pressure to perform in these unsettling economic times and are faced with difficult people decisions whilst maintaining growing business results?

Here are 5 winning ways to help you maintain a positive focus through these tough times.

1. CLARITY:

In times of crisis, some company employees seem to run around like ‘headless chickens’ looking for somewhere to roost. Be clear on what your key priorities are, and focus on the few rather than the many. Be clear about you want to achieve and focus on what’s really important.

2. BEHAVIOUR BREEDS BEHAVIOUR:

How aware are you of how your behaviour impacts the team? During stressful times some leaders can revert to becoming more dogmatic and insensitive when dealing with people, due to the constant and overwhelming demands being placed on them. They may have long-term, loyal staff being made redundant due to cut backs, have had to decrease or eliminate pay awards and bonuses as well as deal with those who are left ‘in survivor mode.’ Through self-awareness and self-assessment, your coach can enable you to focus on the impact that your behaviours are having on the rest of the team and the need to keep morale high and spirits motivated.

3. MAINTAINING A POSITIVE OUTLOOK:

Ruminating about doom and gloom will not help build team morale.

Studies by Martin Seligman, author of ‘Authentic Happiness’, show that optimism

and positive psychology lead to greater success in life. Goleman’s research on EQ, tells us that the most successful leaders are those that maintain a strong level of resilience and sense of realistic sense of optimism despite internal or external pressures.

4. KEEP COMMUNICATION LINES OPEN:

Too many times, communication from senior leaders ‘dries up’ in times of crisis. Over-communicate rather than under-communicate, so the team are clear what the vision is and what the leader stands for. As Barack Obama is quoted as saying, ‘the leader’s role is to inspire people in tough times: ‘to fix our eye not what is seen, but what is unseen, that better place around the bend.’ Karl Weber, former CEO of Lufthansa, said he felt at times that he ‘seemed the only person who believed we could work our way out of this crisis.’ People need the belief that they will overcome the difficulties facing them and want to feel involved in helping to turn the company around.

5. KISS-KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID:

Unfocused and ill-thought out, knee-jerk reactions may damage your company’s competitive advantage for the future. John Kotter, Professor at Harvard maintains that in times of change, leaders try to change too much, rather than change too little. Focus a small number of key priorities that your team will remember and clearly identify with.

Difficult times require you to focus on how to manage your priorities and maintain a positive sense of control, even in the greatest crisis. Many positive opportunities can present themselves in the worst economic environments. As Dr. T. P Lyons President of Alltech, is recently quoted as saying, ‘I’m a recession heretic’. There’s always an opportunity in every crisis!’

The clarity and focus that coaching brings, can help leaders transition positively through tough times. With good clarity, planning and preparation, the coaching process can help leaders refocus on key priorities and acts as a highly motivational tool in creating a high-performing organisation, ready for the upturn.

If you would like to re-focus on your key priorities and achieve greater clarity about what really matters in your business just contact deirdre@peopleresources.ie for a free consultation.

Deirdre Murray is Managing Consultant/Executive Coach with People Resources Consultancy and Adjunct Faculty Member of The Michael Smurfit Graduate School of Business, where she lectures on Leadership & Managing Change and Organisational Behaviour. She has recently completed post-graduate research on ‘The Impact of Executive Coaching on Individual Performance’, within the financial services industry.